Monday, July 20, 2009

New blog

I started a new blog that journeys our relationship and possibly my future.

It can be found at

Friday, May 22, 2009


Thank you everyone out there for your support. You don't know what it means to the boys and I. This is sooo messed up!

The funeral will be on Tuesday at 1:30pm. He is going to have the full military honors, like he deserves. I am beyond happy that it will be done. There is so much to do. I just don't know... :-(

I know that you all are here for me and I really appreciate it! Thank you again.

He's gone :-(

It is with a sad and broken heart that I write this overdue update.

We completed cycle 4 and headed back to Kansas. We arrived home early Wednesday morning. The drs had started him on a new anitbiotic and as of Thursday (while in the hospital) he started gettting severe diarhea. Of course the drs didn't think it was it but the chemo. Yet this didn't occur cycle 2.. hmm...

Anyway. On Thursday morning (the 21st) I left for Topeka. Then I got back quarter to 5. James wasn't feeling the best and had had an accident. I helped clean him up and tried to get food in him. Well needless to say he said something about can't swallow then made some funny looks. I called 911 and they arrived within minutes. They started working on him.. They brought him to St. Johns, and he was pronouced dead at 6:10 pm. :-( So James is no longer suffering, but is deeply missed by all that knew him. I know he knows that I love him with all my heart and it saddens me to update this. :-( The funeral arrangements are pending, but will probably be Tuesday.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Overdue update

I am sorry I haven't updated sooner! :-( I know that isn't nice, and I appologize!

We left Houston the 28th. We stayed with Friends the weekend after leaving the hospital and then came back on the 27th so we could stick around for a bag of chemo that was less than 20 minutes long! UGh! He also had a bag of antibiotics and was started on 2 more. The dr believed he had C-Diff and wanted to combat it!!! So we got those and left!

When we came back to Houston that monday the weather was crazy and raining! It ended up flooding that night and on Tuesday morning! On the way out of Houston we saw a lot of the flooding, drove through some water and saw a guy get rescued from the water! So weird!

We got home really late but it was SOOO good to be home! While home James held up pretty well, again had the sour mood, and ended up with bad diarhea. He was using the bathroom many times a day! It pretty much wore him out which makes sense!

We FINALLY got into the VA this past Friday. All of his levels wer ok, but his WBC is 28.6. It's high but nothing like last time! I only did the neupogen for about 8 days so that is crazy! At least I didn't keep it up! LOL He is feeling better, but today his ankles are really swollen. If he'd only learn to not overdo it! ;-) So we are headed out to Houston in the morning and then will be there for hopefully only a week then come back home. He is supposed to have blood draw, dr appt then admittance! We'll see on the last! LOL

So that is the long overdue update! :-)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Well the floor does have a couple, and I mean couple, good nurses! LOL I think we finally got the good ones yesterday! Since I last updated, we talked to the dr on the floor. SHe said they like to switch up the anitbiotics and thus the reason for the pill switch. Thanks for telling us that before! UGH!

So he now takes that. James also has been having the night sweats. He wakes up with a wet shirt and of course that is irritating! He told that to the dr and she suggested sleeping pills so he will be able to sleep through it. Are you serious? Lets see.. sleeping 2-3 hrs drenches a shirt, so he changes it only to drench it. Now you want him to sleep 8 hrs in that 1 shirt and wake up soaked in a pool of sweat? Like the sweating doesn't make him irritable enough, but if he were to wake up in a pool? UGH! Needless to say, that pill is refused, and the pharmasist agreeed! ;-) It's off the list!

He had been tolerating the chemo pretty good until Monday. He started feeling nausea pretty good, so they added another anti-nausea iv that seems to help. He didn't eat much Tuesday, but it really helped overall. He also had the lumbar puncture Monday, and it was FABULOUS! The lady that did it was impressed that I knew how to get him in position, and it helped a ton! He felt the best after it!

On Sunday he was due for a dressing change. He told the morning nurse, who pushed it onto afternoon nurse who pushed it onto night nurse. So when she came in he mentioned it. She looked surprised, so James told her that if she brought in the kit, I could change it. So she did! I did James' dressing at the hospital where we pay people to do it.. Hmmm.... Oh well! At least it's right! ;-)

Then that night after 1 am the nurse comes in with news that he is getting blood! SHe said that since his counts were borderline they decided to give him blood! WTH! His blood was drawn at 5am, so the results should have been in by 8, and they wait until he is sleeping to do the blood? Mind you that means vitals every 15 minutes for the 2 hrs, and they wake him to do them! Poor grouchy fella! ;-)

Overall this time has been frustrating! We should leave the hospital today, then come back Thursday for lab, and dr appt, and lumbar puncture. We wanted to go home then, but it seems that we will have chemo next week (a bag that takes 30 minutes none the less) so we may have to stay until then! I really hope not! These trips aren't cheap! LOL SO that is pretty much the update.

Oh his WBC is 6.6, Hemoglobin 9.2 and platelets are in the 260s! ;-)

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Starting cycle 3

Well, we are back in TX now. We got in close to 11 pm on Wednesday night. Thankfully no drunk chicks at the hotel to deal with! ;-)

We had our appts on Thursday morning. First blood draw, then wait around for the bone marrow aspirate. Then off to the hotel for a couple hrs then back for our dr appt, which had us waiting almost 2 hrs for! UGH! All in all, it was good. His blood results had his WBC at 18.1, hemoglobbin at 8.7ish and platelets normal. The dr believes the 5% blasts they saw were from the neupogen, not cancer. SHe also had the preliminary results from the BMA and it had 6% blasts. Again she believes it was the neupogen, not cancer. We should learn more later.

Of course the hospital was full again so we didn't get a bed until Friday. THey called us at around 3:30 pm and said they had a bed. So we got up here around 6 (had to pack and then wait for shuttle) and then wait a bit downstairs before coming up to the 9th floor. UGH! The room was not ready for us like it should be! No blankets or pillows, no water pitcher, no booties, 1or 2 towels, dirty bed table, etc. This floor is not cool!

Then we heard them saying they were going to wait for the next shift to do things. Ummm. it's not 7 yet, so you are still on the clock! DO YOUR JOB! But I digress.....

They drew his blood, and finally at 11 started the mesna, and then the premeds, then the chemo was started at 12:15ish. It lasts 3 hrs. They gave him his night meds. They have on the list Augmiten for antibiotic. He takes Avelox. The only time he had AUgmiten was with that fever in Cycle 1. We aren't needing it and it didn't do anything. So we are waiting for the dr to find out whats up.

Still not liking this floor.. The nurses (except for last nights) seem to not like to be bothered and would rather talk and be noisey outside the room (we are in front of the nurses desk). UGH! SOOOO frustrating. Oh and did I mention they have a "quiet time" on this floor? Yeah... SO maybe we'll be noisey then since they don't know how to shut their yaps! ;-)

Otherwise James is doing good. Starting to get irritable, but that is expected. This is the same stuff as the first round, so BTDT so to speak! I will hope to update later!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Leaving Tomorrow

Well, we finally got James in to get bloodwork done... at the VA! At least the local VA is wonderful with good staff. So we went there Monday for a rountine 6 month checkup for his records there. They drew his blood, but didn't keep it warm (his blood never stays warm, and they have to warm it up and keep it warm), so he had to go back later in the day to have the CBC drawn.

We met with the Nurse Practioner and she is wonderful. We got all but 3 prescriptions now in the VA system which will save us a ton of money in the long run. She was really sweet and is willing to help us where she can. She called back that night and told us his results. Well they didn't make a ton of sense! LOL His WBC was 55.1!! That is EXTREMELY high for him. Maybe it's the neupogen, maybe it's not, we won't know until Thursday. His Hemoglobbin was 6.2, which is REALLY low, so they had us come in today for blood.

They gave him 2 bags of blood, so he should be good until we get to TX. That should raise his Hemoglobin to high 8's probably which is what we are getting used to. MD ANderson FINALLY called us back today to get the paperwork hopefully to our insurance people so we can get his disability pay that we haven't gotten yet. That is another UGH! I think we'll be having some conversations soon. We will be leaving in the morning to go back to TX. Thursday we have blood draw, bone marrow, and then drs appt, and supposed to get admitted... I won't hold my breath. So that's the latest.